The heat is on...

Feeling hot, hot, hot. Heat wave. Hot in the city. These are just the few of the songs that seem to be on an eternal loop in my head as I enjoy my new commute to work...

So yes, predictably it’s hot at the moment. It reached 44°c here last week which is abnormal for this time of year. Global warming? Who can say, but it’s only going to get hotter. So I was somewhat relieved when I found out my new commute to work was only going to be 25 minutes long. Some may say its a bit mad dogs & Englishmen to be out walking in this weather, but I think it’s helping me keep acclimatised and my panting normally subsides fairly quickly after I’ve reached the office thanks to our very swish air conditioning.

I tend to start my commute somewhat irritated. This is due to lack of sleep. I seem to be having a love/hate relationship with my air conditioning unit at present. Don’t get me wrong I can’t live without it, but it seems to need a lot of attention. I love it for its ability to churn out waves of magical frosty air within seconds but it’s quite vocal about it. The sound varies between a small Cessna taking off to Concorde landing. Ear plugs are sadly not doing the trick yet, so I tend to have a ratio of two nights of no sleep to one of heavy sleep brought about by exhaustion. So by the time I hit the proverbial pavement I tend to require minimal eye contact, sound and interruption to keep me focused on the day ahead.

In India that of course is never possible. I firstly amble through Kailash Colony Market, AKA cycle rickshaw depot. Weaving my way through, I am constantly accosted by rickshaw wallahs most distressed at my pedestrian status. Their usual way to get my attention is loudly slapping their seats, ringing their bells with a “Hullo Madam”, driving straight towards me or slowing down as I cross the road so I’m forced to either choose them or have my buttocks clipped by a passing motorist. Once I’ve managed to avoid at least 30 of them I then hit the ring road. This ring road is getting the royal treatment for the Commonwealth Games. So, it’s another building site. The middle of the road is currently housing the ribs of the Metro extension and is covered in scaffolding and construction workers. As the traffic tries to squeeze through, teams of construction workers pour through.

Health and safety is only limited to hats in India. Most of them are dressed in what can only be described as ‘pulling shirts’ (nylon & skin tight). They look as if they decided to go to a fancy dress party as one of the Village People but gave up from the neck down. At least due to the repression factor none of them shout out things like “show us your white bits”, it’s more just the usual Stare Factor. To be honest I’m sure they are not staring at me but are in a catatonic state of sheer exhaustion. I was pleased to read in the paper last week that after a successful strike they’d managed to get time and a half for the final three hours of their 27 hour shifts...

Apart from the construction work and traffic the real challenge is crossing the road. There are no traffic lights so it really is a case of timing and courage. I haven’t quite got up the balls to try what I like to call the TST (Tiananman Square Technique). This involves walking out into the traffic with your arm held out and I’m sure using mind control techniques worthy of Paul McKenna to make vehicles and cows stop. I normally wait 10 minutes and sneak behind some school children, power walking with determination.

Highlights: I never thought I would say it but power cuts – with no AC we’ve rediscovered the joy of our balcony at night that’s marginally cooler than being indoors and a beer outside is always the best option to beat the heat, mango season – it’s started and long may it reign, my new breakfast special is muesli, yoghurt and fresh mango, discovering the American Embassy does free Friday night films with seriously good AC – god bless Obama.